Recently I was asked how I became interested in becoming a sex therapist. I had no short answer and instead went on with geeky enthusiasm until my listener’s eyes glazed over! Most of my life I’ve been interested in what happens in particular moments when people come together. When one person’s history, needs and perceptions joins (or collides) with the history, needs and perceptions of another. So much more goes on than meets the eye when people have sex! Sex therapy is about misconceptions, anatomy, arousal and fantasy. It is also about grief, vulnerability, attachment, medication, the brain. Did I mention safety, health choices, obstacles, orientation, gender, identity, being categorized, as well as the refusal to be categorized. It’s about love, like, lust, trust, pain, frustration and fear.
Taking all of the above into consideration, it is astounding that we think we don’t have to talk about it to make it work!